The Birth Nerds Podcast

Tuesday, March 3, 2020

Our Moral Objections to Modern Christmas


Episode Transcription:


Dez: Welcome to The Birth Nerds Podcast, a Utah based podcast in which two friends discuss parenthood, history, and fandom with a unique birthy twist.

Intro Music

Als: Hi guys! This is Als from the editing room. I just realized that we didn't record an intro to this episode. This episode is a hodge-podge of Christmas themed tangents we took while recording other episodes, where we talked about all the things we don't like about Christmas, its saving graces, and absolutely *nothing* about birth. But we hope you enjoy it anyway!

Dez: I disagree about the "Santa" thing but I let Greg do it 'cause he wants to be magical and that's sweet.

Als: Yeah. I'll probably just do, like, one gift from Santa.

Dez: Oh, yeah.

Als: Nothing like over the top by any means.

Dez: Mmm mmm.

Als: Because I- I don't know. I love the idea of magic but I also don't wanna lie to my kids.

Dez: Well, not only that but you also don't want any other kids to feel bad because your kids got a tablet from Santa and this other kid got socks.

Als: Oh, heavens yes! Like, no way.

Dez: I was the poor kid that was getting crap from Santa-

Als: Yeah.

Dez: -and wondering why Santa didn't love us as much as he loved my friends.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: And, I mean, my mom and dad explained to me and this is kinda how I've dealt with it with my girls: you reimburse Santa for the gifts.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: You know, it's not like it's just free. He has to be able to pay for supplies and help feed and clothe and shelter the elves.

Als: Exactly.

Dez: Also, the other thing with SantAls: house elves... slave labor. Just- I'm very Hermione about the whole thing.

Als: Yeah. That never-

Dez: House-elfs Liberation Project!

Als: That never really sat very well with me either.

Dez: I mean, yes, let's use this "sub-human" species as our slaves. Isn't that basically the justification behind African-American slavery back in the 1800s?

Als: Exactly. It was.

Dez: Eugh. I saw a meme earlier that was like, "Forget elf on the shelf, do 'Mandalorian on a Delorean'."

Als: That'd be way better. Also, elf on the shelf freaks me out.

Dez: It's from the fucking devil.

Als: It's scary.

Dez: I refuse.

Als: Me too. I don't have kids, but I refuse.

Dez: Well, when you have kids, you're still gonna refuse.

Als: I still refuse!

Dez: I don't care that it's creepy, like- I'm sorry. An elf doll moving around your house and doing stuff-

Als: Yes.

Dez: -is really creepy! Talk about Annabelle but tinier?

Als: Yeah.

Dez: Uh, creepy.

Als: It's creepy. It's a freaking butt-ton of work.

Dez: Oh. Yeah.

Als: Like, I'm very creative and I don't think I could do it.

Dez: I am way too lazy to do elf on the shelf.

Als: Also, I believe kids should be good all year round, not just, like, Christmas time.

Dez: Well, you've heard the thing- the six days between... 'cause you have to be good all year to get your presents, so the six days-

Als: Yeah.

Dez: -after Christmas until the next year it's "purge time" for children. 
Advent calendars.

Als: Oh, I love my advent calendars!

Dez: I- no. So when I was growing up though, my mom had one that was, like, crocheted.

Als: Uh huh.

Dez: And it was a little Christmas tree and every day we would pull an ornament out and hang it on the little Christmas tree.

Als: Uh huh.

Dez: You can do advent calendars that do not have candy.

Als: You can, yes.

Dez: And my in-laws were so sweet and bought my kids advent calendars this year. Grandma on Daddy's mom's side and Grandma on Daddy's dad's side both gave them calendars.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: So they're getting, you know, two pieces of chocolate a day, plus they still have Halloween candy that they're working their way through.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: Plus Christmas is gonna come and they're gonna have so much candy. You guys, I am so sick of candy.

Als: That's a lot. That's a lot of sugar.

Dez: That's a lot of sugar! And they're little kids and they don't need it.

Als: Yeah. We always had the chocolate ones growing up but we only ever had one. So-

Dez: Yeah.

Als: I really wanna get one of those nice wood advent calendars and like, put little trinkets in them or something.

Dez: Yeah. That's- I loved my mom's little Christmas tree one 'cause it was real sweet and we'd fight over who got to put the ornament on that day and-

Als: Yeah.

Dez: -we would all fight to try to be the last one because the last thing that went on was the star. 

Als: Yeah.

Dez: So, they had little presents that you could hang under the tree and then ornaments that would go up on the tree and then the star was for Christmas Eve night. And we would all fight over it and it's really cute and I want one just like it-

Als: Yeah.

Dez: -'cause it's a lot more... I don't know. I feel like having a piece of chocolate... It's such a fleeting joy.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: Versus hanging the ornament and being like, "I hung *that one* up."

Als: Yeah. I could totally see that. I could get behind that, for sure. Something I dislike terribly is the fact that Christmas starts the second Halloween is over.

Dez: Oh, sooner, too, if you work retail.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: I was already fighting Christmas stuff in the backroom at work this year on the first of October.

Als: Yeah, that's so ridiculous to me. I think part of the reason why Christmas is so special is because it is such a small time of year.

Dez: Yeah.

Als: You know, it's like when you have- If you were to eat birthday cake every single day of the year, it wouldn't be special anymore.

Dez: Exactly.

Als: The reason that it's special is because you only get birthday cake once a year. And I know people will fight me on that. Whatever. I don't care.

Dez: Well, I also think- I mean, it depends on the person and the year. 

Als: Yeah.

Dez: The commercial aspect being shoved down our throats from October 31st on-

Als: Oh my gosh-

Dez: -drives me nuts.

Als: Me too!

Dez: But I mean, when I was pregnant with Nevaeh, since I knew I was due in November and that some of her first lullabies would be Christmas songs-

Als: Yeah.

Dez: -I turned on the Christmas music in, like October.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: I'm not ashamed to admit that.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: Because I wanted her used to it.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: So, I mean, when she was born-

Als: That makes sense.

Dez: -we did a lot of "Away in a Manger" and "Silent Night" and things like that for lullabies when she was little.

Als: That's so cute!

Dez: It was really cute. There are perks to having late November babies, Als.

Als: Yeah? Are you trying to tell me something? 

Dez: I am trying to tell you that you need to have a baby that I can help you love on.

Als: Okay.

Dez: 'Kay.

Als: Working on that one! Just the insane amount of consumerism surrounding Christmas just makes me so crazy. You know, I love the ideas behind, you know, celebrating the Christ child and celebrating one another and giving gifts, and, you know, the true meanings of Christmas like love and friendship and family. You know? Those are so important and I love celebrating those. I love giving gifts. I love- obviously- receiving gifts. But sometimes it's just so over the top nowadays that I'm like, "This is terrible guys!"

Dez: The older I get, the more I relate to the Grinch.

Als: Oh, same! I've related to the Grinch since I was, like, twelve.

Dez: You know? Just- again, it's packages and shipping and it's sending things.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: And I mean, Black Friday's getting earlier every year now too.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: And it's ridiculous. I mean, Black Friday was only named Black Friday because people waited 'til after Thanksgiving to start their Christmas shopping and many had the weekend off work so they would go on the Friday. That's when the companies were "in the black" for the year instead of in the red.

Als: Yeah. Exactly.

Dez: They were finally making money instead of losing money.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: Which it kills me that that took until November.

Als: Right?

Dez: As a business owner, that would be very scary.

Als: Same!

Dez: Um...

Als: Same. Well, and I remember being a teenager and the stores didn't open until midnight, you know? 

Dez: Oh, see and-

Als: Between Thursday and Friday. But it's like- I feel like there have been years past now, the last two or three years, that it's like, "Oh, six o'clock on Thursday," or "Five o'clock on Thursday"...

Dez: Four o'clock!

Als: "Four o'clock on Thursday!" It's just getting ridiculous.

Dez: You forget that I worked Toys R Us Black Friday two years ago.

Als: Oh my gosh.

Dez: Right before they closed.

Als: Bless your heart.

Dez: You know, it was actually really fun. And I worked Christmas Eve that night too. I worked from like nine to midnight on Christmas Eve-

Als: Oh, jeez.

Dez: -'cause my kids were home and in bed. I didn't mind going in. It was overtime and-

Als: Yeah.

Dez: -time and a half hours and... I worked at Babies R Us.

Als: That's a lot different than Toys R Us, I'm sure.

Dez: Yeah, but they needed extra workers and I already knew all the systems-

Als: Yeah.

Dez: -'cause it was the same company, so I went over there. But, yeah. The whole Black Friday thing, the fact that it starts earlier every year, and it's all about how much crap you can get.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: Um, I- You know, my parents don't usually ask us for a list. They get us the same thing for all the kids and they use their credit card points to get us gift cards to, like, Barnes and Noble and to restaurants-

Als: Oh, I love that!

Dez: It's fantastic.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: No complaints. And then Greg's mom does really similar things where she just does her own thing and has it already prepared and-

Als: Yeah.

Dez: Once in a while she might need some suggestions, but otherwise she kinda knows what her plan is. Greg's dad and grandparents, though, every year ask us for a Christmas list. And I- I feel like I know what I want throughout the year and every Christmas I'm like, "Uhhhh, I've never wanted *anything*." 

Als: Right?

Dez: 'Cause they ask us for the list in, like, November, and I'm like... I don't- do I want stuff? I don't even know if I want anything. And I mean, this year with my girls, they have... so many toys and so many books and they don't need stuff.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: You know, one of the things I've been trying to do more is give experiences, so-

Als: Which is so amazing.

Dez: Well, and this is gonna come out after Christmas, so even if my kids hear this part-

Als: Yeah.

Dez: -they're not going to be spoiled by it.

Als: Yeah!

Dez: I'm giving them swimming lessons this year.

Als: Oh, that's so fun! They're gonna love that.

Dez: So we're gonna do swimming lessons and I'm gonna see if I can, uh, buy online, because I'm sure nobody has this in store right now-

Als: Yes.

Dez: -some, like, goggles or something.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: So that they can actually have, like, a physical present, but also an experience.

Als: Yeah. I love that. That's super fun.

Dez: So, yeah. I'm gonna put my girls in swimming lessons.

Als: Yeah. I'm just not about- you know, I try and make gifts every year because it's much more economical, and I feel like when I put in that time, you know, I would hope that the people that are receiving those gifts know that I spent time on it and then that shows them how much I love them.

Dez: Yeah.

Als: Because, like, for me, like when it comes to receiving gifts, I don't care how much it cost.

Dez: No!

Als: Like, give me a journal and, like, pens. That would make me so stoked. Or a fuzzy blanket just because you know I love it. It doesn't even need to be expensive.

Dez: Give us a follow and a share!

Als: Yeah!

Dez: Yeah.

Als: Follow and share.

Dez: Seriously though. 

Als: On Facebook and Instagram.

Dez: Ian just gave me, like, the best Christmas present when I was over earlier. He said he's got a coworker whose wife is expecting and he gave them my doula business card. And I'm like- that warmed my heart! Like, he doesn't even- I don't need anything from you guys this year, you know? Even if she doesn't end up even interviewing with me-

Als: Yeah.

Dez: -the fact that he cared enough to have one of my cards and give it to her-

Als: Yeah.

Dez: You guys are my favorite.

Als: You know, that's-

Dez: Well, Greg is my favorite. But you guys are a close second.

Als: Thanks. You know, I think that that's what this time of year is supposed to be about, is just, you know, taking a little bit of time to show people that you love them. I'm a receptionist at a clinic, and I swear, December first rolled around and suddenly people have just been so nasty. 

Dez: Uh huh.

Als: And so rude. And I'm like... Where is this Christmas spirit? And, it makes me so sad that people are just so bitter and angry.

Dez: Well, speaking of Christmas *spirits*. That's another thing I don't like about Christmas. I hate eggnog.

Als: Ew! Me too! It's like-

Dez: And Greg loves it and-

Als: Ian does too!

Dez: I think it's so gross!

Als: It's like the texture of snot.

Dez: I was thinking the texture of semen.

Als: Oh, yeah, that too. Ooh.

Dez: And... I don't want that texture in my mouth! I don't know if that's TMI for y'all, but-

Als: Me either.

Dez: -no thank you!

Als: And it's like gross sweet too.

Dez: Yeah.

Als: It's nasty.

Dez: So to be fair, Greg does mix it, like, half in with milk, so it does help the texture a little bit.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: And he makes me try it every year just to make sure that I still don't like it 'cause he thinks that I'm picky. I just- I would rather eat spice cake and, you know, ginger snap cookies than drink eggnog.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: I am super fine with pumpkin spice through the new year.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: Of course, I am a- I'm a basic white chick!

Als: Yeah. Oh, and I love mint. Like I love that it's mint season.

Dez: Mint is yummy. Mint and chocolate don't belong together.

Als: Oh, that's sacrilege!

Dez: Ever.

Als: I love mint and chocolate.

Dez: Mint is a savory flavor to me. It's not a sweet.

Als: It's a savory flavor? It's literally sweet.

Dez: Well, no, it goes better with things like mojitos than chocolate.

Als: I don't think that at all! I mean, mint as in the herb, totally.

Dez: Yeah, no, peppermint. Yeah.

Als: Yeah like when it's an herb.

Dez: It's peppermint season. Yeah.

Als: But when it's-

Dez: Like a, like a leaf!

Als: But like, what about like... I don't know. I love, like, peppermint hot chocolate-

Dez: Eugh.

Als: -and peppermint candies and-

Dez: They've got, like, at the bakery right now we have like peppermint crumbled... almost like a creme brulee, where they've just shmooshed some peppermint candy canes and like, yeah, bruleed them-

Als: Okay. Yeah.

Dez: -on top of cakes, and I'm just like, "Bleugh!"

Als: Okay, that doesn't sound that great.

Dez: It sounds so gross to me!

Als: Seriously. What about-

Dez: Um, the last time that I really had anything that was chocolate and mint, I was pregnant with Nevaeh-

Als: Uh huh.

Dez: -and I was hanging out with our friend Kimber-

Als: Uh huh.

Dez: -and her little sister was selling Girl Scout Cookies and she had- I think they're called "grasshoppers"? No, "Thin Mints".

Als: Thin Mints. Yum!

Dez: Uh, and I ate, like, a whole box.

Als: Right? Pregnancy man. It changes you!

Dez: And I really don't like chocolate and mint together but that day, it was perfect.

Als: Yeah. What about- okay, what do you feel about, like, candy canes?

Dez: Candy canes are okay. Are you- were you the kind of kid that, like, sucked it into a shiv in your mouth? Like it was, like, sharp?

Als: Uh huh. Well, sometimes. A lot of times I would just end up, like, chewing it.

Dez: Yeah. No, my sister and I would stab each other with candy canes as children. 

Als: Of course you would.

Dez: It was like, full on prison shivs going on.
Can we talk about corny Christmas movies?

Als: Yeah. Heck yeah. You either love 'em or you hate 'em.

Dez: Yes. 

Als: Yeah.

Dez: I-I love-ate them.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: So, the funny thing to me is that there are so many different iterations of the same freaking plot line.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: I'm like- can we just flip this on its head even? Maybe have it be the *man* who moves to a small town instead of a woman?

Als: Right?

Dez: Can we please?

Als: Like, all the Hallmark movies. All 800 Hallmark movies are literally the same exact movie.

Dez: It really is!

Als: I know people love 'em. I don't mind them. I know it's like, almost a religion sometimes.

Dez: And they start in October!

Als: They do. But it's like, there's no differences between any of them. Like, I was reading an article online- I'll see if I can find it, it was by Deseret News- and it was this lady who is Jewish, living in Utah, and she talked about how stupid the new Hallmark Chanukka  ** movies are, because really-

Dez: They're Christmas movies but they're Chanukka.

Als: No, not even! Both storylines are about how these Jewish people have to put Hanukkah to the side to celebrate Christmas.

Dez: What?!

Als: And I was just like, "That's messed up!"

Dez: Yeah. If you're gonna have Hanukkah represented in your movies, represent!

Als: Yeah. I would not mind watching a Hanukkah movie. 

Dez: I would love to watch a Chanukka movie.

Als: I would too!

Dez: I- yeah.

Als: I don't know jack-squat about Hanukkah. Please enlighten me! I would love to watch a movie about Hanukkah.

Dez: All I know is that instead of one day of presents, you get eight.

Als: Yeah, I don't think that's the point, but-

Dez: Well that's what I got as a child when I read the Menorah book.

Als: Same! Same.

Dez: Oh, and you light the candle every night on the Menorah.

Als: Yeah. I mean, it's like, come on Hallmark. You can do better.

Dez: "We've never believed in Christ in our lives, but we're gonna set this day aside to celebrate Christmas, like *true Americans*." Eugh.

Als: Yeah no. No man.

Dez: That just-

Als: I mean-

Dez: -sounds like propaganda.

Als: It does. I mean, don't get me wrong, you don't have to believe in Jesus to celebrate Christmas, it's very much a cultural thing now, but if you're gonna have a Chanukka movie and it's supposed to be a Chanukka movie, don't have it be about putting aside Chanukka to celebrate Christmas.

Dez: Yeah!

Als: Like, that's just messed up.

Dez: I mean, but that would be like somebody having to put aside Yule to celebrate Hanukkah.

Als: Exactly!

Dez: You- different religions. Different things. Different holidays in the same time of year.

Als: Or- Yeah. Or like, let's forget about Christmas to celebrate, you know, Chanukka or Kwanzaa or whatever. It's like, let's just celebrate what we wanna celebrate and call it good. We don't need to put anything aside.

Dez: Okay, but Als I need to know.

Als: Okay.

Dez: What is your guilty pleasure Christmas movie that you watch every year? 'Cause everyone has one.

Als: My guilty pleasure?

Dez: You've gotta have one.

Als: Probably Elf.

Dez: Ah. Okay.

Als: Although, I love the Grinch that stole Christmas, like the one with Jim Carrey, but I will watch that any day of the year.

Dez: Yeah, yeah, and like, "The Nightmare Before Christmas".

Als: Oh yeah.

Dez: Any day.

Als: It's funny because I'm very adamantly like a post-Thanksgiving Christmas celebrator-

Dez: Except when it comes to Jim Carrey as the Grinch?

Als: Yeah!

Dez: Same.

Als: Probably because I relate. He's-

Dez: You're just like, yes, let's not count down to Christmas.

Als: Yeah!

Dez: No more packages. No more bows.

Als: He's like... he's my spirit animal.

Dez: He- yeah. He's pretty fantastic.

Als: I know that's like kind of a racist thing to say now, but it's like-

Dez: Yeah, it's a little cultural appropriationist of us, but I also am a white girl and I really can't call you out on that because I probably appropriate more cultures than I realize.

Als: Yeah. Well, and also it's like I feel like there's no other real explanation for what I'm feeling about that, like-

Dez: He's in my soul.

Als: Yeah. 

Dez: Yeah.

Als: Yeah, so it's not meant to be, like, offensive. It's meant to be like: I can't describe it any other way-

Dez: Yeah.

Als: -thank you to our Native American friends for having an idea that captures what I'm feeling.

Dez: We need better English. That's what you're saying.

Als: Yeah. 

Dez: We need better English.

Als: Heck yeah.

Dez: We need to invent more words. 'Kay.

Als: Yes. Why can't we be like the Germans and just invent words and have them be different words all smooshed together?

Dez: Okay, another Christmas movie that you can watch year round though: Home Alone. The Home Alone series.

Als: Yeah, that's true.

Dez: Which we haven't pulled out for the kids yet and we need to 'cause they wanna watch the one where the little boy booby-traps the bad guys.

Als: Yes! Do it!

Dez: So, um...

Als: What's your guilty pleasure Christmas movie?

Dez: I was gonna say "The Grinch" but you stole it.

Als: Sorry.

Dez: "The Santa Clause" movies. The- Tim Allen.

Als: Okay. Those are pretty good too.

Dez: Yeah. And I actually watched one of those in preparation for our birth of Christmas episode.

Als: Good.

Dez: 'Cause I was gonna go a little more into birth at the north pole but-

Als: Oh, yeah.

Dez: -we got distracted. It's fine.

Als: I did watch "Noelle" on Disney Plus, which is supposed to be, like, a new Christmas movie... It kinda sucked. I guessed what was gonna happen like five minutes into it. And I was right.

Dez: So like any chick flick ever?

Als: Well, it's not really a chick flick. Like. It's like a female empowerment movie-

Dez: Yeah.

Als: -it just kinda sucked.

Dez: Although, I will say our tradition- Greg and me- it's not a guilty pleasure thing as much. It's after we get the kids to bed but before Santa comes-

Als: Mmm hmm.

Dez: -that we always watch "Die Hard".

Als: Really?

Dez: Yes. It's a Christmas movie!

Als: Is it? I've never-

Dez: It's based- it's set on Christmas Eve.

Als: Wow. I've never seen "Die Hard".

Dez: It's got Alan Rickman in it, honey, you have to see it!

Als: It has Alan Rickman in it?

Dez: Yes.

Als: I didn't know that!

Dez: Yes. He's a bad guy.

Als: I wonder if Ian would watch it with me. I bet he would.

Dez: Oh yeah. So that's kind of like my-

Als: We're gonna watch it now.

Dez: -grownup tradition thing is "Die Hard" every Christmas Eve.

Als: Yeah. Yeah I like that a lot. That's super fun.

Dez: Yeah. So it's a totally random thing-

Als: Yeah.

Dez: -and it's really- it's not a Christmas movie. 

Als: Yeah.

Dez: It's set at an office Christmas party-

Als: Oh, okay!

Dez: -and that's as Christmassy as it gets.

Als: Okay, cool. That's still alright.

Dez: I mean it's blowing crap up and-

Als: Yeah.

Dez: -being a secret agent and stuff. So.

Als: I will admit that I don't like Christmas music. I don't know if it's-

Dez: I like a certain select few songs.

Als: Yeah. Like, there are a couple songs that I like. But there are an awful lot of songs that I really dislike. Like "I Want A Hippopotamus for Christmas" is the dumbest song I've ever heard in my entire life.

Dez: I don't know. Um, having a grown man sing "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" seems a little creepy to me.

Als: That's also a terrible song. And-

Dez: Or "All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth". 

Als: Yeah.

Dez: Cute when a seven year old with a lisp is singing it. Creepy when a fifty year old is singing it.

Als: Yeah. I also really hate "Santa Baby". Because I feel like it encompasses all of the consumerism that modern Christmas is. It makes me crazy.

Dez: I like that one but only because I like to flirt with Greg by calling him Santa, so-

Als: Well yeah. But like the song in general, especially the lady who sings it.

Dez: The really... yeah.

Als: Yeah. Not a fan. 

Dez: To be fair, that song also reminds me of a girl we went to school with because she was the one that performed it when I was in ninth grade.

Als: Oh really? And I think also that part of my problem is that I've been in music lessons-

Dez: Uh huh.

Als: -or music programs in school for such a long time.

Dez: And you start learning Christmas music-

Als: In October!

Dez: In October.

Als: Like, by the time Christmas rolls around, I'm over it. I've played every song known to man, I've sang most songs known to man-

Dez: Known to America.

Als: Okay, known to America.

Dez: And some known other places.

Als: That I'm just... I'm just over them. There's only so many Christmas songs and I hear them too much.

Dez: See, that's one of the reasons I really like "The Forgotten Carols" though, and I know you got to see it this year.

Als: I did. That was awesome.

Dez: It's different Christmas songs. They're a little bit of a different style.

Als: Yeah!

Dez: But they're still really pretty.

Als: Yeah I really enjoyed them.

Dez: I really like "The Forgotten Carols". I'm a sucker.

Als: Yeah it was good. It was fun. I bawled like a baby though and I was not warned that I would cry that much and-

Dez: Oh, my mom said that right after they saw you was the part that "Mary Let Me Hold Her Baby" came on and she was like, "Oh, Aleshia!"

Als: Oh! She's so sweet.

Dez: She was thinking of you.

Als: Yeah. There was that part and then there was at the end where it was like, you know-

Dez: Think of somebody who can't be with us today?

Als: Yeah.

Dez: Yeah, I've been to that play a few times.

Als: Yeah. And that really got me. Even, like, the lady next to me- 'cause you know, you're supposed to, like, link arms and I was like, I'm not gonna link arms with you lady, sorry- but she, like, put her hand on my shoulder because I was bawling. And I'm like, "Oh, thanks." Like, that's the Christmas spirit right there.

Dez: Yeah. So, yeah. I really like Forgotten Carols. I like a lot of the more religious type songs too. I mean-

Als: I do tend to like those more.

Dez: -one of the most underrated songs is by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow: "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day".

Als: Yeah.

Dez: I freaking love that song.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: It is five verses and I have known them all at heart at one point. I don't currently know them all by heart, but.

Als: I always loved, you know, and we really only sang this in church: "Once in Royal David's City".

Dez: Uh huh.

Als: I always loved that one.

Dez: Well and 'cause, again, it's not one that's being shoved in your face for three months!

Als: Yeah, exactly! Exactly.

Dez: You hear that on in church, like, once.

Als: Exactly. Exactly. And I also love, like, "Mary Did You Know?". That always-

Dez: Yeah, that's one of my mom's favorites.

Als: That always kinda touches my heart a little bit.

Dez: Yeah. Um, "Breath of Heaven" is probably my favorite Christmas song, and that one might actually be really good for you this year.

Als: Oh my gosh. I have not listened to that song in forever. That is actually one of the songs, like, back when you had to buy music off of iTunes- instead of just stream it-

Dez: You don't have to buy music off of iTunes anymore?

Als: No. You can pay a monthly fee and just stream whatever the heck you want. Yeah girl.

Dez: 'Kay. Yeah. I haven't had iTunes since you had to buy music off.

Als: Yeah. So, back when you had to buy it, that was actually one of the songs I bought=

Dez: Yeah.

Als: -was "Breath of Heaven" and I had, like, the piano music for it and everything.

Dez: It's just such a pretty song-

Als: It is.

Dez: -and that has been one that has helped so much because, I mean, I had late fall babies.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: I had postpartum depression over many Christmases.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: "Breath of Heaven" is a beautiful, um, song-

Als: Yeah.

Dez: -to help with somebody that was going through depression.

Als: You know, I find it really funny that we intended this episode to be about the things we kind of hate about Christmas.

Dez: "Our Moral Objections and Their Saving Graces". 

Als: Yeah.

Dez: There we go.

Als: And yet, we keep finding positives. 

Dez: 'Kay. That's true. But you know, we- Christmas is over. My other moral objection is Pinterest perfect everything.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: I am not a Pinterest Perfect mom and I never will be.

Als: I try to be but I fail.

Dez: Yeah but you also, um-

Als: Am realistic?

Dez: You're realistic, but also you have a little bit of time and space to yourself at the moment.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: You don't have children running around wrecking things as you're trying to make them perfect. 

Als: Yeah. Exactly.

Dez: Um. It gets a lot harder-

Als: Yeah.

Dez: -to be a Pinterest perfect person when you have a baby hooked to your boob.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: Say that five times fast. "Pinterest perfect person baby hooked to your boob". Bulbul blah bla blah.

Als: Yeah that's a lot of.. all..

Dez: Alliteration.

Als: Alliteration. Wow. For some reason I always stumble over that word. 

Dez: Which is funny 'cause it's supposed to be the alliteration you stumble over, not the word alliteration.

Als: Right? Anyways.

Dez: That word is not a tongue twister. It just means tongue twister.

Als: Exactly.

Dez: That's another bad tee shirt. "Alliteration: not actually a tongue twister, but it just means tongue twister". I think we've got enough crap we hate.

Als: Yeah. Yeah.

Dez: But also a few little saving graces because we whine about Christmas, we do, but at the end of the day, we love Christmas.

Als: Yeah.

Dez: We just, you know, maybe are sick of all the more commercial elements. It's like the Grinch at the end of the Grinch movie where he comes to realize that Christmas is about more than just presents and-

Als: Yeah exactly.

Dez: -it's about coming together in community and love and we can love that and wait for next Christmas with baited breath and terrified wallets and, you know.

Als: You know, so next time somebody calls you the Grinch, say thank you. Because the Grinch understood the true meaning of Christmas.

Dez: Exactly. He was only an outcast because everyone else just wanted to sell crap.

Als: Exactly. Alright, well, we hope you guys had a great Christmas and have a good rest of your year, and-

Dez: We will be back on the second day of the year?

Als: Something like that.

Dez: January second 2020!

Als: That's so weird!

Dez: I'm excited.

Als: Me too.

Dez: I'm gonna be as old as you soon.

Als: Very soon, yeah.

Dez: Couple more weeks!

Als: You act like I'm so old or something.

Dez: Oh yeah, a whole, what? Four months older than me? Not even? Three and a half?

Als: Yeah.

Dez: Happy new year!

Als: Merry Christmas! Happy new year.

Dez: Merry Christmas was yesterday.

Als: You can still say 'Merry Christmas'.

Dez: You slut! 

Als: No. You can still say 'Merry Christmas'.

Dez: No you can't!

Als: Yes you can.

Dez: It's over!

Als: Happy new year, happy everything.

Dez: Have a happy life, we'll see you next year.

Als: Bye!

Dez: Nothing in this podcast is intended as medical advice. Please seek appropriate care for any medical concerns.

Als: Thanks for listening. Join us next week for another captivating episode of The Birth Nerds Podcast.

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